Nazrin B asked:
I’am Nazrin, a muslim girl and I got married recently. my problem is that i don’t like my husband. he is not a bad guy or whatever. it is just that i dont find him attractive. i find him boring. We were engaged for 3 years. During that period itself, i felt he is not my guy and asked my parents to stop the marriage. but they convinced me saying that engagement is like a promise and breaking a promise is sin. and i agreed(was made to agree by sentimental blackmailing) to marry. after marriage i have been living with him for 3 months and still feel no attachment or sense of belonging to him. he is a very simple guy. he doesn;t have any bad habits. he is god-fearing. in all way he is a good person. but i’m not attracted and i dont like having *** with him. i am very confused. am i doing a sin? i dont know what to do. i am a religious person and i am very watchful to stick to islamic rules always. please do advice me to get out of my problem.
Michelle
I’am Nazrin, a muslim girl and I got married recently. my problem is that i don’t like my husband. he is not a bad guy or whatever. it is just that i dont find him attractive. i find him boring. We were engaged for 3 years. During that period itself, i felt he is not my guy and asked my parents to stop the marriage. but they convinced me saying that engagement is like a promise and breaking a promise is sin. and i agreed(was made to agree by sentimental blackmailing) to marry. after marriage i have been living with him for 3 months and still feel no attachment or sense of belonging to him. he is a very simple guy. he doesn;t have any bad habits. he is god-fearing. in all way he is a good person. but i’m not attracted and i dont like having *** with him. i am very confused. am i doing a sin? i dont know what to do. i am a religious person and i am very watchful to stick to islamic rules always. please do advice me to get out of my problem.
Michelle
Tags: Good Person, Marriage, Parents
Lucy
Wow, this is a real problem. I am not of the same religion as you. I do not know a the rules in your religion. All I can tell you is to be honest with yourself and your husband. It is not fair to him to have him believe something that is not true. Communication with him might come up with other solutions.
Good luck,
Marc
This is the simplist advice that I can give. Act and tell yourself how you want to feel towards your husband. Tell him also how you want to feel towards him. Do this every hour and every day. Pretty soon your feelings will start to match your actions. (I know this sounds backwords.)
Willie
that can be a problem you have.. if you are one of those that must follow the rules that are set for you then theres not much you can do but talk to him about it.. if this is your first man you been with and your not liking the *** you can always take care of your own body for your own needs or you can show him what you would like as far as ***.. i don’t know much about that kind of religion and what things you have to do or not do to think you will or wont go to heaven.. talk to your mister.. good luck
Todd
Not much to do in your situation unless you file for a divorce. But if you are religious then that would not be an option for you but I was married before and my ex chose drugs over me so we got divorced. Yes, I know my Lord does not like divorce but I do not believe he wants us to suffer either. (be miserable) Follow your heart girl.
Manuel
Aww, you pore thing. Your religion makes you do the arranged marriage thing. Meaning that, your parents picked out a guy and made you marry him to uphold the family name and honor your religion at the same time. Unfortunetely, you didn’t really get to make the ultimate descion. I know your family is important to you and all you want to do is honor them by doing what they tell you to. This is the year 2008. You don’t have to do what you are told if you don’t want to. Rules were made to me broken. It’s not too late to get an anulment. You don’t have to do what your parents tell you. You are not a child. You can make your own descions and not let your parents run your life for you. After all it’s your life not theirs. This about you being happy for the rest of your life.
Being in a relationship where you just aren’t physically attracted to a person heads towards one thing, UNHAPPINESS. You need to stand up for yourself and tell him that you just aren’t attracted to him, there is no chemistry between you, and that getting married was a mistake. I think he would understand. This is about you. Don’t you want happiness? Don’t you want to marry someone that you have chemistry with, as well as mutual physical attraction between to people who want to be together for the right reason. Tell your husband that this isn’t what you want and that your parents wanted you to marry him, not you. Get an annualment. I’m not sure what coutry you live in though… Hopefully it’s the US. Well, Good Luck!